Fear not!  For those unwilling to or uncapable of looking through Latina magazine themselves, we have developed the lite edition: sans sex tips from old maids and diet tips that will continue not to work and leave you with all of the stuff you really care about: women–more particularily Eva Mendes.  Ahh… the wonders of technology.

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Marketing Stragedy 101: Give the people what they want.  If a large crowd of people are screaming at the top of their lungs how much they want to walk into a grocery store and stare at the cover of a magazine with someone like Martina Stella teasingly naked on the cover, then you better hope no one gets offended.  However, make sure you mark a line somewhere: no matter how much they plead, Brazillian scat porn is never going to make its way right next to the Milk Duds.

There’s nothing like starting out 2009 with new beginnings, however for John Travolta and his wife Kelly Preston, they will have to cope with a ending to their 16 year old son’s life.

Police Superintendent Basil Rahming has said a caretaker found Jett Travolta unconscious in a bathroom late Friday morning and he was later pronounced dead at a Freeport hospital. The youth was last seen entering the bathroom on Thursday, according to Rahming’s police statement.

“We are heartbroken that our time with him was so brief. We will cherish the time we had with him for the rest of our lives,” Travolta and Preston said Sunday in their first public statement since Jett’s death.

 The precise cause of death was not known.

At a time like this, it is always good to think positive.  So far they have recevied lots of support from their fans, friends, and family, their son was on vacation in the Bahamas when he passed away and not locked away in a cage as some medical specimen, and…well I don’t know, don’t have to worry about saving up for college?

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• Have You Seen Alessandra Ambrosio From Behind? - The Bastardly
• Victoria Silvstedt Starts 2009 With A Bang - The Bastardly

• Lindsay Lohan’s Breasts Need A Hand - HollywoodTuna
• 9 Fool-Proof New Year’s Hangover Cures - CO-ED Magazine

• Chloe Sevigny Bikini Pictures - Drunken Stepfather, NSFW
• Did George Clooney Shack Up With Paris Hilton? - I’m Not Obsessed

• The First Lady has had enough - Celebslam
• Kathy Griffin Will ‘Knock the Dicks Out of Your Mouth - Yeeah!

• Verne Troyer hit on Kelly Osbourne and It’s About Time - The Blemish
• Heather Locklear’s Joins DUI Celebrities - Cele|bitchy

• AnnaLynne McCord Spent New Year’s Eve in BED - The Grumpiest
• Kate Bosworth Lookin’ Mighty Fine In A See Through Top - Popoholic

When Stacy Kiebler showed up at the Liv Nightclub to ring in the New Years in that dress, it looked like God himself opened up the sky and light a celestial light shine solely on those killer legs of hers.  Apparently he has good taste–or just admiring a job well done.

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Sometimes I have to admit that when I see Paris Hilton wearing

Sometimes I have to admit that when I see Paris Hilton wearing clothing as ridiculous as this, I am faintly reminded about all those crazy kids in Japan.  I mean, both her and those kids are able to wear clothes that indicate their obvious mental handicaps and still be hailed as “cool,” and I mean that in the sense of a parent that has given up the cause of having their six year old child wear anything outside of a tutu or Superman cape.

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Someetimes it’s good to be a celebrity.  Not only are they prone to have amazing New Year’s Eve parties, but more times than most they get paid to have a good time too.  Take Katy Perry for example at Gridlock in Hollywood:

After leading the countdown to ‘09, she shouted, “Happy f–king New Year, everyone!” and continued into a performance of her latest hit, “Hot N Cold.” She then dedicated her tune, “Waking Up in Vegas,” to—who else?—partiers in Sin City.

Of course she sang “I Kissed a Girl.” “Has everyone kissed someone yet?” she asked, before launching into her debut hit single. 

With the way that she was dressed, I’m not sure exactly how easy it would have been for Katy to steal a kiss from either a man or a woman.  I’m guessing it has something to do with the fact she looked like a borderline drag queen.

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“Screw your freezing New Years in Times Square!” was said in unison as Lindsay Lohan strolled through the salty sands of Miami Beach amongst a crowd of oogling beach babies.  With no Samantha Ronson in sight and Lindsay’s freckly shanks exposed, if this red haired light weight had passed out from the sun, I’m sure there would be a couple of guys there to help her up… eventually.

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One New Years Eve it’s all about change for the year to come, and the hopeful aspiration to steal a kiss.  However, for retired basketball player Charles Barkley, he was looking for a little something extra when he got pulled over for running a stop sign.

According to the officer who wrote the report, “He told me that he ran the stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up the girl I saw get in the passenger seat.”

The officer continues: “He asked me to admit that she was ‘hot.’ He asked me, ‘You want the truth?’ When I told him I did he said, ‘I was gonna drive around the corner and get a b**w job. He then explained that she had given him a ‘b**w job’ one week earlier and said it was the best one he had ever had in his life.”

Strange enough, the police failed to disclose the woman’s business card.

It’s the end of the year folks, and for most people that means looking back on their lives and either thinking, “Holy crap, I really screwed up” or “I am amazing.”  Whatever you think about your life…well, it doesn’t matter all that much, people what the people really want is to hear about somebody.

And the person that topped the list this year is Britney Spears, who can both say she’s had an amazing share of ups and downs this year.

 Personal troubles or no, Britney Spears is still the hottest human being on Planet Earth, according to USA Today’s annual Celebrity Heat Index, which measures how much exposure a star gets in print and online.

Brit got more media attention than anyone else for 11 weeks this year, meaning she earned the top spot on the index for the second year in a row. That coverage included everything from her infamous breakdown last January to her best-selling album, just released on Dec. 2.

Congrats Brit, and here’s to many more mishaps– baby throwing, random heads on fire, maybe even a little more (at least semi-) nude shots in the New Year.

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